The more things change.....

My mother is a quare individual altogether!! If you broke your leg or got a paper cut or a scratch on your knee she'd be telling the world about it. Passing strangers would be regaled with tales of the volumes of blood that spewed forth from your near fatal paper cut, it was almost the end of you, naturally. Now if the paper cut was in your mind that'd be another thing altogether. You must never tell anyone if you're a bit odd in the head!! Not doctors, teachers, friends, co-workers, no one must know you get a bit sad sometimes, or you have an irrational fear of bananas or whatever.

So I grew up believing that this was the case. Thoroughly convinced that if I told anyone I was a bit batty, the authorities would snatch my children away and I'd be unceremoniously dragged off to the madhouse to live an unemployable, unfriendable existence for the rest of my days!!

My mother is not to be blamed for this attitude. It's pretty average for anyone that grew up in Ireland in the 1950's or thereabouts. The mental health history of Ireland, as of many countries, makes for an interesting read and I suggest you all have a google at it at some point. Anyway Mammy was only looking out for me, if in a rather unhelpful way.

Oddly enough, whilst thinking these things about myself, I never had any problem with anyone else's wobbly head issues, in fact I have a bit of the agony aunt in me I suppose. I like to listen, to make people feel better, get stuff off their chests etc, to the best of my ability anyway. So I suppose a large part of me knew this attitude I had inherited was probably not the healthiest to have in this day and age. There's still that niggly fear though, Mammy's voice in the back of your mind somewhere. I mean what if she's right?? Imagine!! So I shared what I had to with who I had to, and hid the rest from the rest, as you do!!

So here I am writing a blog about it all, and everything else as well. Mammy would be a bit cross with me now wouldn't she?? So what's changed? Well, not much, yet, I still keep a lot of my cards close to my chest, but all things in time, we'll see, won't we.....